Silliness and Stuff

The lighter side of this hobby, these posts and pages are meant to give you a chuckle, a giggle and a laugh.

My Appearance on The Painting Phase!

Posted by johnnya10 on 26/09/2023
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff, Thoughts and Comment, Uncategorized. Tagged: . Leave a comment

Hey folks! You may well have spotted this on your hobby-focussed YouTube by now, but if you haven’t, I made an appearance on The Painting Phase hobby chat show with Peachy, Geoff and Pat. We talked about my role as Commissioning Editor for Games Workshop (which I left a couple of years back), Blanchitsu, Necromunda, Blood Bowl, and my podcast – My Life In Miniatures. I had an absolute blast doing it and it’s one of my favourite hobby-centred shows on YouTube so it was a real honour for me to be able to appear. It may well be their least successful show, but it’s a highlight of my hobby career for sure.

I wanted to put this little post together as a companion piece to the video. Once you’ve given it a watch, it might be fun/useful to refer to the notes below to get some more information. There were also a number of questions from their Patreon that I didn’t get the chance to answer, so I’ve answered some of those below too. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy the show, and I hope the stuff below is interesting too.

Show notes/useful links:

1 – For those of you looking for more information on the fascinating Mechanical Turk, here’s a Wikipedia article for you to enjoy on the subject. And a little more on what it means today in the context of digital marketing. 

2 – Just as an aside, when I used to go to those meetings where we worked out how many of each product the marketing team would need, I kept notes in my notebook before updating the spreadsheet. I once left that notebook in Bugmans after a meeting. It sat there for 15 minutes, entirely unguarded, and not a single person looked into it before I got back to rescue it. But that could have landed me in a great deal of trouble if someone had! Thankfully, the people who go to Bugmans are largely excellent people and so I wasn’t responsible for the biggest leak ever. Phew.

It’s also worth noting that there is a much more complex process for working out how much stock may be needed, but it’s still a very difficult thing to try and work out.

3 – Genuinely, Dead of Winter is an amazing game and well worth your time if you can get yourself a copy. Here’s a bit more info if you’re interested. 

4 – Go look at some webcomics! They’re still on Warhammer Community and there’s still a lot of laughs to be found there. And stay tuned to Dr Geof’s website for news of Biscuit Wars! 

5 – If you’ve never read it, here’s my tretiese on Freehanding and I hope you’ll find it useful. 

6 – Here’s John Blanche talking about his art. Also, I don’t know if I am talented enough a painter to be any authority on Blanchitsu, so if you want to see some real exemplars of this art style, check out Iron Sleet – those guys do it 10,000 times better than I do it, and were a big part in organising The Pilgrym – what Peachy mentioned.

7 – If you want to see the John Blanche Femme Militant models, you can take a look at them here. 

8 – Honestly, leaks are the worst thing when you work at Warhammer Community. It’s like having to deal with the kid who has not only looked at their own Christmas gifts on December 14th, but they’ve also looked at everyone else’s, and they tell everyone. Bastards. No, GW have never fabricated a leak – they are genuinely the most annoying things in the world, and even before I worked at GW, I made a great effort to not look at those grainy images. 

9 – If you are just now discovering that I have a podcast, My Life In Miniatures, you can find all of the episodes (25 at the time of writing) on Audible, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and you can listen to them all directly from the MLIM Podcast page!

10 – Oh my! 

hedonism bot gif

11 – If you’re ever going to be teaching someone how to play a game, to help ensure that they have a good time, it’s well worth watching this video from Shut Up & Sit Down. 

12 – Shout out to the guys in my old Blood Bowl league! And also, Daughter, should you ever read your dad’s old blog in many years’ time, I was in no way blaming you for me missing out on Blood Bowl. You were way more entertaining than any game could have been and changing your nappies, and being shouted at by you when you were hungry was my pleasure.

13 – Kevin Kanner’s Carcharodons (Space Sharks) for you to take a look at. 

14 – Zoats! 

zoat gif

15 – I lied about my favourite toe. It’s actually this one.

16 – I got the young Space Wolf’s name wrong – it was Brand. I apologise for the mistake. It was a heartbreaking instance, and the studio, the publications folk and writers did such a lovely thing. You can learn a little more about it here. 

17 – Sorry if I butchered your name, Seyni! Here are his Carcharodons and his West African inspired Ad Mech army – it was a joy to help bring these to the wider community.

Extra Questions

And now, here are some answers to some of the Patrreon Questions that we didn’t get time for on the show. I’d also highly recommend the Painting Phase Patreon and I hope you’ll be able to support them.

James asks: Was there pressure to make it more ‘marketing’ than genuine community? And did that mean there was influence from outside of Warcom on who to interact with?

John answers: Not really. The only real pressure came from being a team that GW had never had before – a marketing team. We needed to prove that we were needed, and all that ever meant was that we always tried our hardest to get great content out there, but as mentioned in the video, sometimes you had to focus on the really important stuff, and the fun stuff would have to wait a spell.

Michael asks: How hard did you have to work to get GW to start working with external people?

John answers: Personally, not hard at all. It was the start of the era where the company was starting to understand that it needed to interact more with the community. The Partner programme was a great way of getting the product out there, and the articles we generated were the best advert for the hobby.

Josh asks: Were there any influencers/channels that wanted nothing to do with GW that you regularly tried to tempt? 

John answers: Nope. I always approached people respectfully, and if they said no, they said no. That was the end of it. Maybe once or twice we would start doing something new that I thought might tempt them to join the programme, and I’d test the waters again, but that was the limit of it.

Kristinn asks: Did you work with the White Dwarf team? What were the differences between Warcom and White Dwarf?

John answers: Occasionally, but not as often as I’d like to. We’d occasionally share photo assets, or give each other leads on good hobby, but they’re two very different entities that do very different jobs these days. Honestly, I think White Dwarf is amazing these days, and they’ve really found the perfect niche for them in in supporting and developing the hobby through idea-led content. White Dwarf remains an excellent publication with a great team behind it. And I was always thrilled to contribute to it if I could with their painting/modelling challenges – I did a few of those 🙂

Richard asks: If you were an animal, what would you be?

John answers: Kommodo Dragon. Because they’re awesome.

Andrew asks: How does one get their minis featured on Warhammer Community?

John answers: Send it to the Community inbox. If you’ve got an army, I would always ask for about 800 words, in-focus images on a white background, and an assurance that no non-GW bits had been used. This may well have changed since I was there, but I’m sure they still like to see good hobby as much as possible. Here’s the email address: community@gwplc.com

In Closing

Like I said earlier, this has been a highlight of my hobby career. It was so much fun reminiscing with Peachy, and meeting Geoff and Pat was great too. And it’s been so nice to read so many positive and complimentary comments too, both from people just discovering my slice of the hobby and my Podcast for the first time, and from old friends, colleagues and those partners that I used to work with. It’s been the most delightful of ego-strokings!

I hope you are enjoying your hobby and having an excellent time with clippers, glue and brushes. Onwards!

john ashton painting phase podcast

A Wargamer’s Guide To Nottingham

Posted by johnnya10 on 02/11/2022
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff. Tagged: . Leave a comment

old map of nottingham

If you’re a fan of Warhammer, the chances are that you’d like to one day make a pilgrimage to Warhammer World in Nottingham. Or, perhaps you’re a frequent visitor to the home of these particular toy soldiers, but even those people familiar with WHW, who feel like regulars when they stroll into Bugmans, may not know too much about the city to which you’re heading. That brings us to the theme of this article – a guide to Nottingham from someone who lives here – for those of you just visiting. Some handy advice, top tips, things to do and see, and more.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure that other people who live here will find something to disagree with me about, and if that’s you, meet me by the Left Lion at 5pm and tell me all about how I’m wrong (actually don’t because I won’t be there). 

Getting To Warhammer World

warhammer world in nottingham

Let’s get the basics out of the way. Warhammer World is based in a part of Nottingham called Lenton, which used to be famous for guns – it’s one of the areas (though not the most prodigious one) that helped earn the town the unflattering nickname of “Shottingham” back in the 90s, and Heckler & Koch have a factory there. Some people still think Nottingham is the gun crime capital of the UK and that’s simply not true – it’s a friendly, beautiful city with a lot going on (that being said, there are still some areas to avoid but Lenton really isn’t one of them – just stay out of St Ann’s and you’ll be fine). 

Yes, you can simply put the address in your GPS and drive there, but you have other options too. If you’re staying in town, or arriving via the train station, you can take advantage of Nottingham’s legendary public transport by jumping on a tram, or you can get the bus. The Skylink bus that heads to East Midlands Airport (the closest airport to Nottingham) stops near Lenton Abbey (at Gregory Street) which is 5 minutes from Warhammer World, and departs from Friar Lane (not too far from the town’s other Warhammer store – yes, we have two). And jump on any Tram heading to Toton Lane from town, and you can jump off at the Gregory Street tram stop – you’ll go past WHW on the way and again, it’s about a five minute walk (slightly less).

nottingham tram

If it’s a nice day, why not stroll along the canal instead? It’s actually quite pretty down there, and if you’re planning a day in the gaming hall, the fresh air here will help you get through the day. So you don’t have to drive at all! The buses are touch on/touch off, and you can get tickets for the tram at any stop, or by downloading the NetGo app.

What Else Is There In Lenton?

…not much. Lenton Abbey has some old ruins, and if you want a nearby pub, The Boat and the Johnson Arms (not named after Jervis Johnson) are your best bets. But Lenton doesn’t have much else to entertain you, so when you’re tired of Bugmans and the Gaming Hall, head back into town.

What To Eat

Nottingham has a wealth of food options so whatever you’ve got a craving for, you’ll be able to find something to sate you. After all, a man cannot live off Bugmans burgers alone (I know, I tried). You’ll find lots of the usuals that you get anywhere else, but here are a few places well worth your time:

bunk nottingham

Bunk – there are at least three Bunk restaurants in Nottingham (I’ve heard rumours of a 4th) and they all do excellent chicken wings, nuggets, hot dogs, and fancy cocktails. The dips for the wings are great, and the sides will have you bursting at the seams. They tend to be underground, so you can pretend it’s a Dwarf or Skaven wing joint if you prefer.

Oscar & Rosies – The best pizza in Nottingham can be found in the Lace Market (just over the road from one of the Bunks actually). Unique flavours in a unique setting – you’ll not want to eat pizza anywhere else again. Oh, and if you’re really hungry, the mac n cheese is excellent too.

Memsaab – Want a really posh curry? This will cost you a little more, but the food, service and setting at Memsaab are legendary, and it’s very popular with the locals too. Near the top of Maid Marian Way, it’s handy for anyone staying in town.

annies burgers nottingham

Annie’s Burger Shack – Whether you want a slap up US-style breakfast, or a bountiful burger in the evening, Annie’s is a Nottingham institution of which we’re all very fond. The wait for food can be long if it’s busy, but in my experience, it has always been worth it.

Fothergills – in the shadow of Nottingham’s “Castle”, this is particularly flavoursome pub grub, and they do nice beers too. It’s a pleasant setting, and for more regular pub grub, there are of course, more regular pubs aplenty.

Honourable mentions worth checking out: Kayal (Indian), Mowgli (Indian), Suede (pizza), 31K (tasty yet simple), Hockley Kitchen (breakfast/sandwiches), 13th Element (Vegan)

Where to Drink

Speaking of pubs, we do beer and drinking properly up here, so here are my Top 5 in Nottingham (not including Bugmans):

jame cafe nottingham

Jam Cafe – European style beer drinking and trendy kids boogying establishment with good tunes, and you can order in from the excellent Chinese over the street if you’re feeling peckish. Great beer selection too.

The Salutation / Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem / The Bell – Each one of these claims to be the oldest pub in England and each have their merit. The Sal is a haven for Metalheads and Alternative Music fans, The Trip has caves, swords and a haunted galleon, and the Bell is kind of a traditional boozer done nicely. 

Junkyard/Herbert Kilpin – Hidden away from the hustle and bustle, these two places are actually sort of the same place – they even share front and rear gardens. Junkyard sells beers in 2/3rds of a pint, and will have 20 for you to sample, where as the Kilpin is more of a sports bar in pub-form but nicer.

king billy nottingham

The King Billy – Out of the way, but this is a lovely local with a hidden roof terrace, a pool table, and a secret pizza chef on the weekend, making it a thoroughly unique place. Classic ales, a slice of Nottingham life and plenty of comfy seats in a uniquely decorated setting.

Brewdog Nottingham – ok, so everywhere has a Brewdog now days, but I really like this one. It’s smaller than most, the team who run it are delightful, it’s in the heart of Hockley (Nottingham’s trendy bit) and they even do regular board games, blood bowl and DnD nights. 

Also lovely to visit: The Canalhouse, The Navigation Inn, The Dragon, The Cock & Hoop, The Sir John Borlase Warren, and Tap House Notts.

neon raptor nottingham

And if you want to sample some of the local beers, Nottingham has some excellent breweries, big and small. Castle Rock (the big one) is by the station and has its own pub on the site of the actual brewery, and the smaller breweries like Liquid Light, Neon Raptor (one for you Seraphon fans), and Black Iris all have tap rooms worth a visit, with Liquid Light being particularly hospitable to smaller tabletop and board games . 

Things To See

nottingham castle

If the Exhibition hall at WHW isn’t enough entertainment for your brain, Nottingham has some excellent things to see and do too. The City of Caves takes you into Nottingham’s sprawling subterranean lair – the city is literally built on caves (which makes us all a bit nervous when we walk around). The “Castle” (which is really just a big house built on the site of the ancient castle – the folks round here like to burn it down every few hundred years) is full of history, lots of art, and some amazing views of the city – you can even see Warhammer World if you squint. 

It can be worth checking out the Contemporary art gallery as they often have fun, albeit small exhibitions on throughout the year. You can take a trip out to Wollaton and see Wollaton Hall, most famous recently as Wayne Manor in Christopher Nolan’s Batman films, which has lots to do, see and enjoy. And if shopping is your thing, the aforementioned Hockley, and Sneinton Market are full of independent shops and unique places to splurge.

ludorati nottingham

If you want some more games to play, we have both Ludorati and The Dice Cup – both are excellent board game cafes with big libraries, good food, and nice people. Also, for more hobby goodness, Element Games have a store in the city centre too.

You’ve also got Rock City for gigs, The Playhouse and The Theatre Royal for plays, the Victoria Centre for shopping, and there are some good walking tours of the city available too – be warned though, Nottingham is a town built on hills so expect some steep climbs.

crazy golf nottingham

If you’re looking for outdoor activities, heading over to University Park provides lots of grounds to enjoy, as well as a boating lake, crazy golf, and even croquet.

Where To Stay

This is a request common with the folks on Twitter, and while I’m not the best person to talk about where to stay in Nottingham as I live here (and no, you can’t stay with me), I shall give it a crack based on what I’ve heard from others who have visited.

The Premier Inn – relatively cheap, basic breakfast, basic rooms, and very close to Warhammer World, this is a favourite among the frequent visitors I know. Its proximity to Warhammer World (an easy walk to wake you up in the morning) makes it very popular though it is a little bit soulless. 

The Ibis – Right in the heart of the city, this is a great location, and the tram stop outside will get you to Warhammer World in minutes, it’s not too dear either (sometimes). But if you’re staying over the weekend, be warned that it can be a little loud – very popular with Stags and Hens.

roomzzz nottingham

Roomzzz – Kind of like a mini apartment, this is a good option if you’re staying a couple of nights or more. Close to Rock City too, if you fancy an evening of Grunge and Metal. Can be reasonable, but not always.

The Jubilee Hotel – Again, out of town, but very pleasant and maybe a 15 minute walk from WHW. It’s part of a conference centre, and on the University of Nottingham’s Jubilee Campus, so there’s not much to do in the immediate vicinity, but certainly a very nice place to stay.

That’s all I got folks – if you know a better place to stay, stick something in the comments.

Nottingham-isms – The Local Lingo

Here are a few things you might hear in Nottingham that you might not hear anywhere else…

duck nottingham

“Ay up, Miduck” – this isn’t as common as you’d think, but you do hear it occasionally. It’s nothing to do with waterfowl – this is just a traditional greeting up here. It’s like “what’s up, my duke?” and the “duke” part is meant as an affectionate compliment.

“Cob” – What you may call a bread roll, a bap, a barm cake, or a bun, people in Nottingham call a “cob”. So you might have a bacon cob for breakfast, for example. 

“Tarrah then” – this means “Goodbye” here. Relatively common.

“Derby Road” – which is an actual road, not too far from WHW. But during the colder months, this is just rhyming slang for “it’s cold”. I’ve only heard it once, but I’m told it’s more common than that.

There’s loads more of course, but these are the common ones you’ll possibly run into on your visit. 

Uniquely Nottingham

Here are a few things that are worth knowing about that are quite singular or important to Nottingham culture. They might not come up on your trip, but if they do, at least you’ll know.

left lion nottingham

The Left Lion – As briefly mentioned above, the Left Lion is a statue outside the big council building (that locals call “The Council House”) that sits in the city centre. If you’re talking to a Nottingham person and arranging to meet later on, there is a good chance they’ll say “Meet you at the Left Lion”. It’s a tradition. Also, this is the name of Nottingham’s free cultural magazine which is really useful for finding what’s on.

“Cock on a Stick” and Mushy Peas – There’s a big fair, called “Goose Fair” in Nottingham every year, and the city’s two favourite foods are “Cock on a Stick” (no, it doesn’t involve a sausage) which is actually a candy cockerel on a stick, sold at said fair. The other “delicacy” popular here is a pot of mushy peas with mint sauce. They love both passionately up here. 

It’s not “The North” – If you want to get on the good side of the locals, don’t refer to Nottingham as “The North”. As a Londoner, I hold that anything above Watford could be considered “The North”, but Nottingham is very much “The East Midlands”. 

Now you know – I hope it helps.

Five Fun Facts about Nottingham

Just a bit of trivia for you to impress your fellow visitors with:

  1. Nottingham’s original name was “Snottingham” which meant “The Home of Snot’s People” in old Viking – I wonder why they changed it…
  2. Wollaton Hall isn’t Nottingham’s only connection to Batman – the nearby village of Gotham (pronounced “Goat-am”) is indeed the inspiration for Bruce Wayne’s hometown’s name (and some of the crazy characters found within).
  3. Nottingham is famous for its lace production, and when business owners started replacing people with machines hundreds of years ago, a man named Ned Ludd and his followers started smashing those machines to get people their jobs back – that’s where we get the term “Luddite” from.
  4. Boots, the chemist, began its history in Nottingham with a single shop started by John Boot in 1849. The company is still based here.
  5. We still have a Sheriff of Nottingham – she’s not nearly as bad as the one in the stories.

And There You Go!

nottingham coat of arms

I hope that will help to make Nottingham feel like a little more than just Warhammer World when you visit. It’s a great little city with plenty to enjoy, and if you need a break from dice rolling and miniatures, I hope you’ve found some things to do here. And notice how I got through the whole article without mentioning the name “Robin Hood”? …bollocks. So close. Anyway, until next time, onwards!

10 Hobby Helpers That Were Never Designed For The Hobby

Posted by johnnya10 on 20/08/2022
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff. Tagged: . 1 Comment
unintentional hobby helpers

Hello hobby friends! It’s been a little while since I did a top 10 list here on Heresy & Heroes and so it’s about time I put one together for you, and in this post, I’m going to talk about things that were never designed with the hobby in mind, but can make your hobbying a lot easier. We’re an industrious lot, we painters of toy soldiers, and with each example here, I’m speaking from experience because all of these things can be found in my own setup, so I know of what I speak. Now, I’m not going to include any actual paints, brushes or materials that can be used in the painting of miniatures, this is more about more peripheral things. The odds and ends that can make your hobby easier. Let’s get started…

  1. Knife Magnet
magnetic knife storage for hobby

When I moved house, I bought a knife holder for my kitchen. You know the ones. You see cool-looking chefs fling sharp knives at them in the movies (if you watch cooking-centric movies – I don’t know what you’re into). Then when I actually moved in, I found there was one already in place in my new kitchen. So I had a spare, and me being me, I used some two-part-epoxy to affix it to my hobbby desk. It now holds sculpting tools, scrapers, pins, and anything else metal that used to be strewn about my workspace. It has helped me keep the desk tidier, and I now know where all of these metal tools are. Those magnets are strong too so even heavier things like clippers live there quite happilly. 

2. Makeup Brush Holder

make up brush holder for mini painting

And speaking of making things tidier, I divide my paint brushes into two categories – Quality, and Utility. That’s my way of saying good brushes, and trash brushes, and I have a lot of trash brushes, many of which used to be good brushes (accidents happen). Now the good brushes get their own special place to live, but the trash brushes don’t need such care. They live in this rather nifty holder which was very cheap, and you’ll find these at many professional make-up stations (I don’t know the correct terminology for make-up-related things, but that sounds right to me). Anyway, when the Quality brushes are put back in their feather beds at the end of a project, the Utility brushes are chucked into the makeup brush holder, and the whole place is a lot tidier

3. Ferrero Roche Tray 

homemade wet palette

I won’t spend too much time waffling on about this one as I’ve written a whole article on turning a Ferrero Roche tray into a wet palette, but it’s worth reiterating in this list. If you want a wet palette, and you don’t fancy splashing out, you can make your own for very little cost, and with this method, you get free chocolates too!

4. Paperclip

paperclips

The humble paperclip has all manner of uses in all manner of fields, but in the hobby, it’s perfect as a cheap source of appropiately-sized wire. And wire that you can clip with you hobby clippers too! You can of course use this for pinning heavy pieces of resin or plastic to each other with just a bit of superglue and a pin-vice needed to achieve this, or, you can combine them with our next item to make a very useful tool indeed…

5. Champagne Corks

cork for miniature painting

Now, I suppose you could use any cork really, but a) why have flat wine when you can have the sparkling stuff? and b) due to their shape, champagne corks (or some fancy beer corks) have a little more stability. And what do we use them for? Miniature holders. Hobby veterans will find this very old-hat, but for you newbies out there, before everyone started making mini holders for painting, you’d drill a small hole in the underside of a mini (typically, the sole of the foot or the nether regions), put in a bit of that paperclip wire with some superglue, and then push the other end of the wire into a cork. Now you have a mini holder! What’s more, you have a bottle of bubbly to help you celebrate this accomplishment! Or, if you’re more of a beer drinker like me, and you’re willing to embrace the hobby-magpie in you, you can just swipe them off other people’s tables at the pub.

6. Plastic Bottle Tops

little green balls in a pot

And staying with things that keep fizzy drinks from going flat, the next time you pick up a bottle of Sprite or Irn Bru (or whatever your soda of choice may be), before you throw away the lid, consider adding it to your hobby collection. These act like tiny dishes when turned upside down, and given that we work with tiny things, that can be pretty handy. I’ve used them to make oil washes in, store little balls of greenstuff (which is what I do when I use too much green stuff – they’re handy for bubbles, boils, glowing orbs, etc), spread sand on a base… all sorts!

7. Crocodile Clips

croc clip

You may have noticed these on the Knife Magnet from earlier, but they’re incredibly useful tools to have on standby. If I’m weathering with a sponge, I will often ball up the spung and place it in the jaws of these clips before using it – it saves my fat fingers from getting in the way while also letting me hit more hard to reach parts, and it keeps me from getting even more paint on my fingers. What’s more, combine it with a bit of clean sponge (to soften the bite), and you can use these to hold small parts of your project and again, not get your fingers in the way. The fact that their resting position is closed is very helpful as this can help to relax your hand which you can’t do if you’re using tweezers. 

8. Tool-bit Storage Trays 

bits storage for hobby

I’ve been using these for years and boy do they save space and time. If you work with tools, you don’t want to spend hours looking for particular washers, screws, or other small bits and pieces, and the same can be said of hobbyists who are in the middle of a kit bash. A place for everything, and everything in its place, right? Well these are ideal as they’re pretty cheap, and they’re just the perfect size. You can get rid of loads of sprues, label up the sections, and make your life a lot easier.

9. Magnifying Glasses

me wearing magnifying glasses
What my minis see when I’m painting them

I’ve tried using old school magnifying glasses, and desk mounted magnifying glasses and sheets before and I never got on with them – they always got in the way. Then I picked up some magnifying glasses that you wear like spectacles and, wow, does it make life easier. They’ve got 1.6 magnification, and while they make me feel a bit queesy whenever I look up, as long as I’m focussed on the mini, these are a lifesaver for painting eyes, tiny-highlights, and for getting your brush into hard to reach places without painting everything around said space. Also, I think I look quite fetching in these.

10. Smart phone

dumb question
Me smart

Ok, it sounds obvious, and while the smart phone has changed all of our lives in many ways, let’s not overlook what it can do for us hobbyists too. It’s a quick and easy way of finding reference materials, or watching tutorials when there’s not space on the desk for a big laptop. What’s more, it can help keep us entertained, perhaps by a podcast, maybe made by me? My Life In Miniatures is in its 2nd season now and you can listen to me chat with loads of great hobbyists as you work on your hobby things yourself. 

And there you have it! I hope I’ve been able to give you some ideas to help make your hobbying a little easier. If you have any other tips like these, whack them in the comments below. Until next time, Onwards!

Necromunda Name Generator: Generic Gangs

Posted by johnnya10 on 22/12/2021
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff, Uncategorized. Tagged: , . Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I’ve put together a good old fashioned name generator for Necromunda (over three years to be precise) but as it’s the festive period, and because we’ve recently had the release of the Underhive Outcasts Gang and the associated rules for them, I thought I’d roll up my sleeves and have a go again. In fact, I had always meant to do this back then but I never got around to it, but now that you can take Outcast gangs, and Venator gangs for that matter, I think it’s about time I righted this wrong. So further below, using the same old system, we have a way for you to come up with a name for your new gang if you need a little help or inspiration.

Speaking of that, I had thought about using mother’s maiden names, the name of the street you live on, or some other method, but thought it would just look like a phishing scheme so I stuck to the tried and true first initial of your first name, first initial of your last name method. It’s worked well for us until now and if it ain’t broke…

necromunda outlanders

What was really fun about this for me was thinking back to the above expansion that appeared in my youth, and also the Kal Jericho novels that I still recommend to people all the time – wonderful enjoyable reads (especially if you imagine Kal has the voice of Archer, Scabbs is Cyril, Yolanda is Lana… essentially it’s Archer does Necromunda and it’s one of my favourite things to do). You might see some nods to these products in the chart below…

Anyway, that’s all a lot of ado, so without further ado (given we’ve had so much ado already) here’s the name generator for you:

generic necromunda gang name generator

So given that my initials are “JA”, I could name my gang the “Junkyard Assassins”, but if, for some reason, that didn’t quite sit right, I could switch it round and go for “Ash Waste Jackals”. Both not only give me names to work with, but they also provide a little flavour I could tie-in to the makeup of my gang, how I paint them and how I base them.

Now, if you’re still looking for a name for your gang that is one of the more traditional Necromunda Houses, you can find some more name generators on this site:

Escher & Goliath

Orlock

Well, I guess that means that’s all. Huh. I could have sworn I’d written more of these… maybe I did and I never got a chance to post them up. I shall do some digging and see what I can put together!

If you do use this name generator or any of the others linked here, or any of the others that are found on this site, I’d love to hear about the results you got and any thoughts you had on them, so do stick a comment down below. And if I don’t post here again until after Xmas, have a happy, healthy, safe and fun winter break. Onwards!

The Heresy & Heroes Year In Review 2021 & Look Ahead to 2022

Posted by johnnya10 on 12/12/2021
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff, Uncategorized. Tagged: . Leave a comment

Well, it has certainly been a year. While one of Nurgle’s more annoying and virulent blessings continues to frustrate the planet, it’s been another interesting 365 in the hobby, and a very interesting year for me personally. I recall that in the olden days, I would often do a year in review post for my hobby here and thought I’d bring the tradition back, as well as look forward to what my hobby plans are for 2022 – I’m quite excited about those! But before dreaming into the days to come, I need to think back over what I accomplished this year. Cue the screen going all wavy, and the twinkly music of remembering…

*at this point I spent ages looking for a good gif of time going backwards and they all suck so have this unnecessary line of explanatory text instead*

Let me take you back to January, 2021. We had just come out of a global pandemic a- no, wait, we were still right in the middle of the damn thing. The pubs were all shut, the bars were all shut, but thankfully the off-licenses (that’s a liquor store for my readers across the pond) were still open. I was enjoying my first winter in my new flat, and I was a Games Workshop employee too. Things were fine, though this blog still slumbered, and that was starting to irk me a little bit. I was painting some things I was really proud of and I wanted to post them on here, and that’s when I decided that I was going to leave GW, and get back to having my hobby be my hobby, and get the blog up and running again.

lord of plagues

The first thing to get finished in January was my Lord of Plagues, a mini that had been part of my yearly totally random hobby project (I’ve got another one coming very soon!) and I was pretty pleased with what I’d accomplished with my limited palette. I was satisfied with all of my painting at that point to be fair, and I was regularly contributing to painting challenges at work, and things were going well with my brushes in general. And by the end of January, I had painted my Grot Tank – a model that I loved with a paintjob I was really proud of.

grot tank

Though of course I was still struggling with my camera – some things never change. This was now really starting to fuel my desire to enter Golden Demon again and really push to get me a statue. On a lucky day, if a few very talented people didn’t show up, I thought I could squeak a bronze. Maybe. But I couldn’t enter the categories I wanted to enter while working for GW, so this further egged me on to find a new job.

slaughter priest

I pushed myself harder in February and it would also be in this month that I secured a new job at a huge company, with a nice pay rise and my notice would be handed in. It was really sad leaving, and in March I would say goodbye to a lot of wonderful people that I had worked with for the last few years at a company that I still love. I would get as good a sendoff as one could hope for in those strange times when we were all stuck working from home, and between all of that, I got the above Slaughter Priest finished too. But before I left, I’d finish up working on my first ever Salamander:

Adrax Agatone

I was so proud of this one. It’s by no means perfect, but I thought I was hitting my marks with contrast, freehand, my metallics, blending… I was pretty damn happy to be honest. And then, riding a wave of confidence I decided to torture myself by dipping into the longest running project ever, my Warhound Titan…

warhound head

That head took me a 3-day weekend of dawn-to-dusk painting and it damn near broke me, again. Guess I’ll soon have to figure out which panel gets some attention in 2022! By this stage, I had left Games Workshop and had started at the new place and I hated it. It started off ok, but the culture was all wrong, and it just felt soulless and weird. In April, I kept telling myself to just stick with it, and that it would get better, and that I only needed to do a year there for my CV and then I could move on…

I lasted 6 weeks before I handed in my notice and by May, when we could sit outside pubs again and enjoy life a little more as the virus seemed to be slowing down thanks to our vaccine appointments, I was, for the first time in my adult life, unemployed. And that, I loved. What’s more, in May, I painted the best thing I ever painted:

skaven dude

And, with everything I was going through, painting this mini broke me a bit. I don’t really think it was this mini, I just think it was a culmination of a year and a half of pandemic, changing jobs, various other things going on, but I quit the hobby and at one point I was genuinely thinking about selling all my minis and painting stuff. I’m not going to go through all of my mad thinking again, but if you want to read more about it, you can go through it all here. So because of all that, this place was a bit quiet for a big chunk of the summer…

I wandered in the hobby-less wilderness for a while there, but it wouldn’t be long beforeI would return, and when I came back, I would be coming back with some of the most popular posts of the year – the very first of the Lazy Painter’s Army List posts. I love creating these and they really helped get me back into the hobby, and finding my love for it again.

2k necron army

The other thing that really got me back into the hobby was gaming. I finished an army this year – my Necrons – and I’ve had a huge amount of fun with them in the second half of 2021. This may not be the most optimal list, but it’s been great getting back to the tabletop, and I’ve got a real urge to play against friends most of the time. I also joined an awesome Crusade group with a bunch of friends and it has been a source of enormous enjoyment all year round.

crusade group

Painting this army to a nice tabletop standard also rekindled my enjoyment of painting in general and it wouldn’t be too long before I’d be picking up my brushes again. September was a particularly productive month, with me first satisfying my near-permanent itch to do some fun freehand with my Saint Katherine…

st katherine

…before then working on one of my favourite projects of the year – my Blight-Hauler…

blight hauler

…so despite my desire to throw it all away, I was back with a vengeance and loving the hobby again. I guess it goes to show that we all have highs and lows, and in times of global plagues, isolation and upheaval, it’s easy to ride the lows a little too hard. Therefore, you need to remember that there’ll be highs again soon. Just worth keeping that in mind.

the devil

October was a little quieter, but I did get to paint the devil you see above and his heavy metal-inspired shield there, and this might have been the most amount of fun I had with freehand all year. Thank you for everyone on twitter who voted for me to use a Heavy Metal album cover for the shield – I hope you’re happy with my choice of Slayer’s Season’s in the Abyss as the source material. I also started my new job around this time and I’m happy to report that I’m still loving my new gig. Long may that continue.

I also got to complete a project that had been living in my head for years and years, by converting and painting the Stalking Scorpion – track down the full article on this blog for all the details, but it made me very happy.

stalking scorpion

The big star of November was almost certainly High Marshal Helbrecht which featured a bit more freehand, and while I had to rush it out at the end, I’d rather have had another week to work on it. But I had so much to do and I got to post it on the same day that I attended Salute so it was lovely to see all of the positive feedback come in on a tiring, long day.

helbrecht

While there are a lot of floors in the above miniature in terms of how I painted it, there’s nothing that I can’t fix, and I really like how brave I was with some of the choices. I’ve never done OSL that strong, or attempted a banner quite like that. That’s something I want to take into next year – be braver, and take some more chances. A little less time in my comfort zone would do me good, right?

stormcast dragons

And here we are in December! It’s cold and wet, there’s a new variant of Corona doing the rounds, World War 3 might kick off any moment and here I am still painting! These dragons got done and a handy tutorial to accompany them came out on the blog just a little while ago. Those are likely to be the last things to get finished this side of Christmas given everything that’s going on (as ever, it’s a busy time of year) but I’ll still be painting through to new year, so expect to see more from me before 2022 goes live. As ever, you’ll hear about it here first. I’m hoping I get some time to finish off this guy…

custodes character wip

Who Games Workshop were kind enough to send out to me, and I think he’s such a cool mini that I want to do him justice and paint him in a fancier style. That’ll take me some time, and I just want to say if you’re an aspiring painter, the Shadow Throne box offers you a great selection of amazing units and characters to test out schemes and styles on with a lot of variety on offer. But I digress, because I’m also happy to have these guys to work on too:

vindictors wip

And while these Vindictors won’t be as fancy as the Custodes chap above, they are the penultimate piece of my Stormcast jigsaw puzzle, and by the new year, I’m hoping to be able to field my Ashen Stars as a 2k point army and get back into AoS (it’s been some years). And speaking of plans for next year…

Heresy & Heroes in 2022

It’s about time for me to be thinking about my hobby plans for next year. As ever, with any plans I make, some of these are bound not to happen or go wrong, and I’ll probably quit the hobby and come back later or something like that. But these are my good intentions that the roads to hell are bound to be pathed with come this time next year. To start with, I want more armies…

armies for 2022

First up (and thanks again to twitter for helping me decide the order of this), I am going to embark on a Maggotkin of Nurgle army. I love painting gross and gribbly things, and the new book is the perfect chance for me to dive into this army. I’ve worked out my list and will be sticking to that.

Then, I’m going to paint my first Primaris Blood Angels. Long time readers will know that I love this army, and I now have all the pieces I need to put together a 50 power level list. Well, I actually have plenty more and could probably put together 100 power, but 50 power is a good place to start I think. Now, the crazy part of this plan is that I want to have both of these projects completed in 26 weeks. By the end of June, I should have both to play with if I stick to the complicated spreadsheet that I’ve been working on. Will all of that actually happen and be on time? Who knows!

golden demon logo

My quest to do better than a finalist pin at Golden Demon will hopefully continue. It’s great to hear that there’s a US version happening at Adepticon, but I’ll be waiting for a UK one to crop up again and hopefully it won’t be too long before we get word of this. Will it be in May as per? We’ll have to wait and see, I guess. And once those armies above are done, I intend to get to work on my 2023 entries. After speeding through two armies, it will be great to spend months on a single mini again!

old microphones

I’m almost a bit nervous about putting this one out there, but why not I guess – but just know that I’ve been playing with this idea for a year now and still haven’t done anything with it, so all bets are off. I may *MAY* start a podcast. We shall see. No promises but if I can get my head around it all, and get everything I need together to make it happen, you’ll hear about it here first. If I do do it though, this could be a lot of fun!

And of course, you can expect plenty more of the usual throughout 2022. There will be reviews, analysis, lists, painted minis, reports from events and everything else you have come to expect from this strange little blog of mine. I hope you’ll tune in and enjoy it all, and as ever, I look forward to getting the content out to you. Onwards (to the new year)!

The Totally Random “6 Paints” Hobby Challenge

Posted by johnnya10 on 17/11/2021
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff. Tagged: , . 1 Comment

Christmas is approaching (already?!) and I will be once again be embarking on my totally random six paint mini painting challenge. This is the 3rd year I’ve done it so it really feels like a tradition now. In this blog post, I’ll explain the challenge, why I’ve made this a yearly tradition and give you the lowdown on the rules if you want to take part yourself. 

It all started when I saw what Sam Lenz had done with Katakros – a mini that featured on the Warhammer Community website – I’ve linked to the article there. Not only did he do an incredible job, but he only used six colours to paint it. That really rang my hobby challenge bell, and so I decided to give it a go over the Christmas break a couple of years ago though I gave myself six colours plus black and white just to make this a little less torturous. This is what I came up with:

drukhari succubus

Why this mini? Why these colours? Well, that all came down to the rules I created for the challenge, prompted by my own indecisiveness. See, when it came to picking a mini, I just couldn’t do it. I had reservations, apprehensions or pre-existing plans with every mini. So as I stood in the Warhammer World store one lunch time, I asked two friends to give me a number between 1 and 100 (or so – it was a while back). I don’t recall what it was, but I walked around the store, counting off clamshells until I arrived at the number the said and that made me pick the Succubus. Then an idea came over me – make everything random.

There’s an incredible freedom afforded to you when you make every aspect of choice about a mini random. You’re cut free from your safety nets. You can’t rely on the same techniques you’ve leaned on all year (or for years) and the expectation from yourself is minimal. And an character that doesn’t fit into an army or project you’re working on, a one off piece, pushes you to try new things. I still have no interest in ever painting a Drukhari army, but that Succubus was a lot of fun. Maybe I’ll draw an Archon one year – i’d be happy with that. But, I digress. 

So I had a random mini, and then I got some friends to give me random numbers and I counted through the Citadel paints until I had my 6 random paints. Six paints by the way that would never have been my chosen paints for this particular job or miniature, but that’s the point of this – it’s a refresher, a palette cleanser.

The next year, I took it a bit further. I got a friend to randomly pick a number and counted through the web store until I landed on the Lord of Plagues. I then turned to Twitter who gave me my random numbers for the paints, and by the end of the Christmas break, this was the result: 

lord of plagues

I’d have never picked those colours, or tried to do all NMM on a mini like this before. But I didn’t have any metallics this year so what could I do but try? It turned out to be a lot of fun, and I learned a lot from the experience. Is it the perfect mini? Hell no, but it kept me learning new things and it pushed my brush skill and imagination.

So in preparation for this year, I rolled a die and got the 40k range, before using a random number generator to land on the Adepta Sororitas Imagifier in the characters list on the web store. I then turned to my Crusade campaign buddies (because the dice said they’d be the honoured ones this year) and got them to pick some random numbers and I used these to select 5 paints from my collection, while a few dice rolls got me my 6th. This is what I’ll be working with:

random mini and paints challenge

An interesting selection for sure, and while I can see bits of it in my mind already, there’s still a lot for me to work out with the brush in my hand in a few weeks when I get cracking with this. 

Now, it may be that you (yes, you… that’s right; you… yes, you!) might be interested in doing something similar. It’s a great way to give yourself a break from your current projects, learn something new, and work on something you would never usually think of trying. So for the first time, I’ve formalised the rules for this so you can use them if you want to give it a go. Here they are:

The 6 Colours Random Mini Hobby Challenge Rules:

  1. Select the mini at random. Use whatever method you wish to make the choice random and not yours or anyone else’s.
  2. Ensure it is a single mini. If your chosen method produces a result that is too expensive, something you have painted before, or you really hate the mini, you can use a single mulligan to change to a different randomly selected mini.
  3. Use any method to randomly select 6 paints. Exclude technical and contrast paints from the challenge, and there is a hard limit of one metallic paint and/or one shade/wash paint.
  4. You are allowed to take a black and a white paint, but you may not use these on their own or unmixed on the mini – they must always be combined with at least one other colour.
  5. You can mix your paints however you like with each other and/or with black and white.
  6. You may pre-base your mini, but you can only use your six random paints and black and white paints to paint the base. 
  7. There’s no official time limit, but try to complete your mini within 2 weeks (just so you never forget which paints you used!)

And that’s it! When you’re done (if you choose to give it a go) please let me know – I’d love to see your results. And just because I do this over the Christmas break, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it in August or May or whenever. Have fun with it! 

So when you see me post up a randomly coloured Imagifier after Christmas, you’ll know why I did it and the thinking (or randomness) behind it. I hope you have tonnes of fun with the challenge, and until next time, onwards! 

World Building – Episode 1: Metaphysical Cartography

Posted by johnnya10 on 03/06/2021
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff. Tagged: . 1 Comment

Hello readers. I’ve had a bit of a bee in my bonnet of late that buzzes around the honeyed idea of building my own world for Warhammer 40,000 (and to torture the metaphor even more, it’s probably a “hive” world). And this got me wondering about, well, where to start. How do you create your own fantasy world? I kind of want to make this a bit of a community project if anyone’s up for contributing (you know where the comments section is), but the bones of the world will have to come from me. And so this is the first in a series of articles about creating an actual world for the Warhammer 40,000 universe. And where better to start than with a good map?

I learned this technique for D&D a long time back, but I’ve extended it and developed it to help me build a planet in a way that works for me. I started with a piece of graph paper and my bits tub (which is different to my bits box(es) and bits trunk… I may have a problem). I took a few bits and scattered them across the paper thusly:

fantasy cartography

I tried to keep it random, but sensible too. A couple of big central piles and some scattered bits and bobs here and there. Next, I took a marker pen and roughly traced around the pieces here (no need to worry about being too neat – it’s almost impossible not to nudge the odd piece here and there). Here’s what I ended up with:

how to create a fantasy map

Not bad, right? In the past, I’ve employed dry pasta and pebbles to help me do this but I think the bits tub gave me a better variety of shapes and we’ve got a passable map with some big continents and some larger islands. Now, you’ve got one last job for that marker pen of yours…

creating a fantasy map

…and that’s adding some reference numbers to the graph paper – more will be explained about these very shortly. I also added a few random small islands here and there. These are more the size of Sicily, Taiwan, Jamaica and the like on a map of our own world. Next up, we’re turning to everyone’s favourite thing – dice!

dnd dice

But we’ll need more than our faithful D6 for this. I turned to my slightly fancy DnD dice set as D4s, D10s, D20s and the like will be far more helpful to us here. While we have our continents and islands, I want to give our map here a little more detail. That’s going to start with major cities (perhaps Hives) and major rivers (think Amazon and Nile rather than Thames and Trent), and the dice will help me determine where these are, and in the case of rivers, how long they extend for, so let’s see what the Dice Gods contributed here:

map making

Turns out, the dice gods were pretty kind to me (for a change). Using a D10 and a D20, we determined which squares the rivers would start in, and then, using a D4, we determined how many large squares they should go across. A bit of random squiggling with the pen and we get our 7 major rivers. I thought about adding lakes too, but decided against it as I thought it would be a notable characteristic not to have any significant inland seas or super-lakes. Then the D10 and D20 (obviously ignoring results 15-20) helped me place the cities. I kept these quite coastal (given that this is the trend across our own world) with only one exception on the main continent, but I kept this close to a river that was luckily flowing near by. Oh, and as we had 10 major population centres, and because this is 40k map, I wanted a planetary capital. A roll of 8, and working down and across, I could assign this roll to the city to the south of the main continent. Next up, I think we need some mountain chains…

how to make a mountain chain

And what better to use for mountain chains than an actual chain? This is my chain of pinning material (some casuals refer to them as ‘paperclips’, I believe) but you can use any chain or even a piece of string. Again, this is just a guide so let’s see what it guided me to create on the map:

world building

And with a couple of extra smaller ranges dotted around at random, we have our mountain chains. You’ll see I’ve also added a couple of dashed “tropics” lines. That’s because we’re now going to assign primary terrain types to the rest of the map and the rough rule is no deserts in the polar regions, no tundra in the central region. A bit of help from the dice and here’s what we have:

my own fantasy world

And so now we have a map! Arid deserts, deep, dark forests, snowy tundras and expansive savannahs cover the world that I’ve just created. I guess this is what it feels like to be God, or at least Slartibartfast. I’m quite happy with the results really. It’s amazing what some dice, a few bits and some stationery can produce.

But this is just the start. I don’t want this to be a world confined to a bit of graph paper. We need to turn this planet into a living, breathing part of the galaxy. We need names, histories, mythologies, horticulture, bestiaries… Though that will all have to wait for the further editions of this series. Until then, i hope this has helped to get your creative juices flowing, and if you have any ideas for this world, let me know! Onwards!

The Gift of Going Green

Posted by johnnya10 on 20/04/2021
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff, Uncategorized. Leave a comment

There are many wonderful things to enjoy in the Warhammer hobby. Thanks to the different settings, the vastly different factions and armies, and the different characters, there really does seem to be something for everyone. What’s more, if you’re like me, and you like to sample a little bit from each area of the hobby (just call me Mr Magpie), there is so much there to thrill, excite, enjoy and it can be a whirlwind of different ways to play, different ways to paint and so much more. But as with too much of any good thing, eventually, the broad horizons can often mean that there’s too much of a trudge between points. Miniatures that once looked as if they were cast in glittering gold can fade into fiddly, frustrating finecast and laborious lead. You can be overwhelmed by obligation, and crushed by the pressure of the grey tide. It can all get too much, but I’ve found the magic colour – green.

Whether you call them Orcs, Orks or Orruks, I just wanted to write a post about why I love greenskins and everything that they have brought to the game and the painting desk. They are, to me at least, an oasis of perpetual enjoyment when I am lost in the desert of pressure, fatigue and overburden. They are honestly one of my favourite things about the hobby, and I’ve never even painted an army of them. Heck, I’ve only ever painted a small handful and they still find their way to my list of the best Warhammer things ever. And while they may have come from a different fantasy setting, over the years, within Warhammer, they have become something wonderfully unique.

I’ve got a few projects on the go at the moment, and for at least a couple of them, I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself. I want things to be perfect in my eyes and that can lead to a lot of time when I should be painting, spent instead worrying and debating with myself – almost a painter’s paralysis. One particularly tough project had me fretting, changing things, thinking I’d found solutions and then finding they caused more problems… it was daunting. So what did I do? I decided to paint something green and now my hobby block has gone and I’m constantly raring to go when I get the time to put paint to toy soldier.

But why do greenskins work like this for me? It’s a question I’ve pondered over several decaf black coffees today and I think it’s a combination of things that I will now elaborate on. I think the first point to make is that all greenskins from Snotling Blood Bowl teams to Ironjawz, from Grots to Mega Nobz, have an inherant sense of humour to them, both in terms of the models and the lore. Oh sure, there are some fierce Orruks and Orks, but even in those we can find humour. Gordrakk may look fearsome on his Mawkrusha, but just try and get the image of that fat dragon trying to actually fly out of your head and I’m sure you’ll at least smirk before it’s gone. They have a unit actually named “Nobz” for Mork’s (and Gork’s) sake!

More over, the humour is usually far more overt. From the gretchin being sucked into the Shokk Attack Gun, to the very idea of a Megatrakk Scrapjet, and to the entire cast of the Gobbapalooza. Tankbustas strapping missiles to sticks and using them as hammers, the gloriously gobsmacking guns of Flashgitz, that rumour that big Ghaz’ name is somehow a riff on Margaret Thatcher’s name… this list goes on. And I like that. I need that. The grimdark can get all too grim and far too dark sometimes and it’s just layer after layer of agenda and one-upping and that gets so dull so fast… and then there are the greenskins. They like fightin’. That’s it. So as well as being funny, they are also not too serious. Sounds like the same point, but I’d argue it was two. 

From a converters perspective, they are a gift. Want to turn a Necron Monolith into a buggy? Do it. Want to turn that Dunecrawler into a helicopter? Have at it. Want to turn Nagash into some sort of Squig? …well, I mean if you can do that, I really want to see it! Some might argue that this is converting on “easy mode” but so what? It’s fun! And honestly, when you try and convert with anything else, it’s like you’re looking to create character, but with Or(ru)ks, the character is intrinsic. You’re simply bringing out what is already there rather than trying to implant something artificial. You are only limited by your own lunacy and I love that. Be mad, be free.

The lore is full of gems too, and I shall merely scratch the surface over this paragraph. From Gloomspite Gitz constantly tripping balls as they gobble up mushrooms, to the fact that Ork guns work because they put a bullet in a box with a tube on the end and they believe that’s what a gun is so of course it has to work. I adore the idea that Orks are keeping the Emperor of mankind alive because they believe him to be the biggest baddest boss in the galaxy and so he has to stay around – and their collective will is keeping his withered old heart beating. Humour, often so missing from modern Warhammer, has been allowed to grow and develop in the greenery.

And I will say this too – the game. Like I said, I don’t have an Ork army (which may be another reason why I love them – familiarity breeds contempt after all), but if i did, it would be a hundred Boyz and a load of big stompy shooty things, and I’d get to roll a billion dice and be fine with most of them missing. I’ve never come across an ork player who wasn’t fun to play against. Anyone who could literally use a shovel to pick up their dice for one round of shooting and expect to hit maybe 5 times, and does it with a smile on their face is aces in my book. Ork people are the best people.

That’s all the reasons I have to love greenskins. I’m currently having such a blast working on one of the Gobbapalooza and it’s bringing me so much enjoyment after a week of hobby-struggle. It’s so relaxing and pleasant.What’s more, it makes me smile because it’s bonkers. A real treat, and I hope you’ve enjoyed me extolling the virtues of going green every once in a while. Honestly, if you ever feel stressed out painting, and you want to have fun, pick up an Orruk, or an Ork, or even an Orc and have fun with it. Leave that confusing and frustrating project you were working on to one side, and spend a couple of days just having fun and giggling about “Nobz” – I promise you it’s an excellent tonic. In a hobby that can take itself too seriously by default, the greenskins remind you that you’re meant to be having fun. And with that, this little love letter is done, and I’m going to get back to my brushes. Onwards!

Heresy & Heroes – A Virtual Tour!

Posted by johnnya10 on 16/04/2021
Posted in: My Painting and Modelling, Silliness and Stuff. Tagged: . Leave a comment

So, it has come to this. Video. I recently spruced up my hobby room and I wanted to show it off a little bit because it’s looking hella dope (I don’t think anyone says that anymore, do they?), and you know how I am with photographs. Couldn’t tell my F-point from a hole in the ground, or an aperture from my elbow. So then I had a crazy notion; why not shoot a wobbly, single cut video using my phone and, it turned out quite nicely! And I ended up not showing off the room, but more my miniatures because they are looking, well, in focus!

I’m putting this video up for anyone who would like to see my collection. It’s like 10 minutes long so you certainly don’t have to watch all of it, and it turns out my voice can go a bit higher than I thought it could, but if you want to see all of my favourite minis from the last few years, you can see them all here. I’m also putting it up here because I want a record of it as it is now. Hopefully I’ll shoot another video in a few years and there’ll be more shelves and more minis I’m really proud of too.

Top 7 Observations when I watched this video back after uploading it:

  1. “How and why is your voice going that high?!”
  2. “You have way too many unfinished projects, dude”
  3. “I wonder how much money I’ve spent on mi- lalalalalaicanthearyouiamnothtinkingaboutthatlalala…”
  4. “How have you got a face for radio but a voice for mime artistry?”
  5. “Like, way too many unfinished projects”
  6. “You say ‘errrr’ way too much”
  7. “Why is it flashing! What’s with the weird white flashes!?”

But there you have it! A 10 minute virtual tour of what I joking call the “Heresy & Heroes Studio” (if I can remember the damn name of my blog – good grief) and lots of fun minis to look at at. I even say “Onwards” at the end because that’s something I do.

Anyway, I’m off to go drink too much beer and enjoy my weekend – I hope you have similar or better plans too. Onwards (again)!

5 Things That Can Help Your Hobby That Don’t Involve The Hobby

Posted by johnnya10 on 15/04/2021
Posted in: Silliness and Stuff. Leave a comment

I’m guessing you’ve probably stumbled across several (if not hundreds) of lists of things that can help your miniature painting that involve paints, brushes and all the sensible things that are actually involved in miniature painting. They’re often very useful and informative, so there’s no real point in me doing another one of those lists here. But, what if I told you there were things that you can do to help improve your painting and enjoyment of painting that have nothing to do with brushes and paints? If you called me mad, you’d not the first one to do so, and though you may be right, I’d say you were wrong here. Here are my 5 tips that will help you to paint from beyond the hobby.

Work Out

I am about as far from a gym bunny as you can get. More of a couch elephant, actually. But I do lift weights. Not big ones – but weights big enough for me to (and I immediately apologise for using this term) feel the burn. By doing this, it tightens up all the muscles in my arms, and makes them stronger which makes them steadier. After a little while doing this, you will feel things tighten up and as you paint, you’ll notice how much steadier you are with both your brush hand, and the hand you hold the mini with. Obviously don’t try and paint immediately after lifting weights as you’ll be wobbling all over the place like a jelly on trampoline that’s being bounced on by couch elephants, but if you give it a bit of time, you’ll eventually see the results. 

Ditch the Caffeine

Speaking of wobbly hands, and without wanting to sound all preachy about it, but you should probably drop the caffeine. Again, this will remove a little tremor from your hand. A few years ago, I developed a somewhat dramatic intolerance to caffeine (panic attacks are a hoot) and so switched to decaf (still love me the taste of a black coffee). The main benefit to this is of course not feeling like I’m going to die all the time, but another benefit involves the steadiness of my hands, and also, my energy levels. While caffeine gives you an initial hit, it burns you out faster, so if you like painting long into the night, ditching it can help a lot. I do have the rare Irn Bru, but that’s part of my heritage so allow it.

Go To Art Galleries & Museums

This may seem very obvious to some, but it’s always worth reiterating. When they reopen after lockdown, go and check out every museum and art gallery you can. It doesn’t even matter what’s on really. Inspiration is everywhere and whether you’re looking at Raphael or Rembrandt, Blake or Banksy, you will gain so much from seeing how they applied their paint, how they framed their subjects, how they work with light… all incredibly useful. And in museums, you may find inspiration in weaponry and armour, but you might find a new way to paint wood while looking at a Chippendale (no, not those ones), or a new way to paint glass while admiring a Steuben. Again, Inspiration is everywhere.

Go On Holiday

And leave the paints at home. While painting everyday is a great way to get good, everyone needs a break from time to time. Another one for when we come out of lockdown; go away. Doesn’t matter where. As with above, you will find new things that inspire you from different foods to foreign soil, from sandy beaches to streets you’ve yet to tread. Then, when you return in a week, you’ll be rested, full of ideas, and raring to get painting again with a head alive with new sights to interpret through the bristles of your brush. When it’s safe do so again, go see a bit more of the world.

Have Another Hobby

Warhammer can be a bit, how shall we say, “all consuming”? There are rabbit holes to get lost down, and then there are 40k rabbit holes, the depths of which are so low, even the Duardin couldn’t mine them. Have something else in your life to balance things. Read books, collect stamps, play football… just have something else because if you let yourself drift under those tides you will find yourself drowning beneath pressure, resentment, disassociation and a one-dimensional existence. I’ve been there, and the way to get out is to have something else you can turn to to help you deal with the times when the grimdark gets a bit too grim and dark. Take up knitting, pick up some watercolours, bake a cake… just have something else.

So those are my tips. I hope they are in some way useful, and I hope they lead to a more enjoyable hobby for you too. If you’ve got any other non-hobby hobby tips, let me know in the comments below. Until then, Onwards!